Disclosure After Infidelity Part III: Emotional Restitution Letter

You’ve done the hard work of the full therapeutic disclosure and the emotional impact letter, and are now arriving at the third and final stop of the therapeutic disclosure process – the emotional restitution letter. This step, like its predecessors, is a...

Shame Messages: Negative Core Beliefs

Shame & guilt are universal emotions that we have all experienced. The best way to distinguish between guilt & shame is this — guilt says “Woops, I did something wrong, I did something bad.” Shame says “I am bad, there is something...

Co-Addiction vs. Trauma Informed Treatment for Betrayed Partners

In the early days of sex addiction treatment, clinicians took a copy + paste approach from successful substance abuse treatment protocols and applied it to sex addiction treatment. While some of this was (and remains) helpful for treating addiction, it unfortunately...

The Drama Triangle

Ever reflect back on an argument with a loved one and wonder what the heck you were actually arguing about? Somewhere the conversation must have derailed. In any conversation there are two important elements at play — the actual content of the conversation and...