Loving Listening

  If I’m honest with myself, I have to admit, listening is difficult. I would rather be listened to and understood than to listen to Gary. I want him to be riveted to my concerns about my day, but when he wants to offload the stresses of his, my attentions...

The 3 Essential Parts of Forgiveness

Recently my church community has been focusing on forgiveness – what does it mean that we are forgiven and what does it look like to be a forgiving people? It’s a challenging process, and one that’s been rattling around in my head quite a bit...

Disclosure After Infidelity Part III: Emotional Restitution Letter

You’ve done the hard work of the full therapeutic disclosure and the emotional impact letter, and are now arriving at the third and final stop of the therapeutic disclosure process – the emotional restitution letter. This step, like its predecessors, is a...

Shame Messages: Negative Core Beliefs

Shame & guilt are universal emotions that we have all experienced. The best way to distinguish between guilt & shame is this — guilt says “Woops, I did something wrong, I did something bad.” Shame says “I am bad, there is something...

Preparing for Marriage, Not Just the Big Day

​​​​​​​In the Pinterest era of wedding planning, perhaps now more than ever there is pressure and expectation about having the perfect wedding. Each detail is planned, paid for, and photographed, then posted online for all to see. Hours of thought and planning go into...